So much has happened in the past four years, as I have struggled to regain my painting memory. And then more recently trying to deal creatively with the painful restrictions caused by inflammatory arthritis.
If someone had ever suggested to me then, that I would be putting down the brushes for the most part, and instead be finger painting. I would have thought they were crazy.
In four years, I have gone from panic at the sight of a brush, to painting The Rebirth Series with paper towels in the beginning, to trying to relearn to use brushes by painting The Project 50 miniature paintings, and then even trying palette knives when holding the brushes became too painful.
I have experimented with various types of oil paints and with different brands and types of acrylic paints.
It has been a long road. One that seems to challenge me each and every day in some way or another.
Those of you that have been with me for a while, know that I love to experiment. Perhaps that was a personality trait I was gifted with, to be ready for all that was coming.
But the experimenting that became a natural part of trying to get back, seems to have left me in a new and unfamiliar place.
I have found I am no longer enjoying being bound to representational art. I no longer care if what I put on the canvas looks recogniseable.
Instead I just want to paint. And while I paint, I want to dance. You should see me in my studio now. Paint dripping from my fingers, as I sway or twirl. Adding a swoosh of red here, a dab of orange there. Marks hitting the canvas in rhythm to the music coming from the speakers.
This is something new to me, this dance. I have never felt this sense of pure joy before. It is a type of freedom I did not know existed. I have left the confines of the structured world, and am entering a new phase. Ironically, one where experimentation is probably the only rule.
I wish everyone could have the chance to create with this incredible joyful abandon. I feel like a child again. When everything was fun. And you could do anything. A time when mistakes didn’t exist, and magic enveloped us.
That is where I am right now. At this moment. If it hadn’t been for that crisis four years ago, I may never have found this amazing path.
I am so blessed. Thank you for continuing on this remarkable journey with me.
You are loved. ~ Cyd
Shades of Monet is an 8″ x 10″ Acrylic on Gallery Wrapped Canvas